Pro global business

Not sure what is going on with fast food and branding but apparently making bad, offensive ads are where it’s at. Here’s one from Quizno’s that has references to homosexuality and anything else you can see in this sick, offensive spot.

Some memorable lines:

“Not gonna do that again, I burn” Referring to masochism

“Put it in me, Scott” Referring to the phallic name “Toasty Torpedo”

Seriously, what is the brand strategy here? Gay men that are masochists will want to shop for the “foot long”? I just don’t get it? It’s not funny…whatsoever.

Rebecca Steinfort is responsible for Quiznos’ domestic marketing efforts, including building a marketing strategy that attracts and retains guests, determining the overall brand message and media plan, and promoting Quiznos’ Delivery and Catering Program. Prior to joining Quiznos in early 2007, she spent seven years in the telecommunications industry in a variety of strategic, product and project management roles.  Rebecca also spent six years consulting to consumer products, retail, and technology companies earlier in her career.

Help me out here, does this ad work?

Well I’m finally freakin’ published. Thank God it’s only one page from me and 237 of my friends. That’s right a book from the leading branding, marketing, advertising, word of mouth marketing and social media types. Each of us got to write one essay, of course mine will stand out because I’m sure 90% of the authors wrote about social media and word of mouth….because that’s hot.

Not me! I wrote about the most important thing any company can do…. Build a brand identity. Here’s a snippet from my essay:

Why do 90% of companies try and be everything to everyone? Do you think it benefits you to be part of the “norm”? Blending in only shows how weak you are, standing apart shows why you’re different and better. Which club do you belong to?

Then of course I go on to give my BIG Kahuna wisdom. The book, The Age of Conversation: Why Don’t They Get It  goes on sale today, October 28, 2008. You can get the book in three ways… an ebook, hardcover, and softcover.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, now is the time to be smart with your branding and budget. But sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words…Tom Fishburne says it well here:

Tom goes on to say:

We’re all going to feel pressure to cut, cut, cut but I think it’s even more important than ever to be thoughtful about what needs to be trimmed (and remember not to spoil what needs to grow).  The best barbecue is cooked slow. Read the full story here.

I’d go even further and say let your competitors cut while you invest more. Now is the time to be aggressive in your branding, marketing and advertising. Just be smart about it and invest in tactics that will generate good return on investment.

For many years we’ve been telling our clients and anyone that would listen that your branding touches everything, all the time. I’ve been screaming at clients on their internal policies and procedures. If you set up policies and procedures that work against your brand identity you’re basically shooting yourself in the head. Here’s a great example of that from  George Silverman:

From a recent Hilton email:

.. But Time is Running Out

 

We don’t want to lose you as a valued member. Please act by June 01, 2008 to keep your HHonors account open. If no activity is recorded by that time, the remaining point balance will be forfeited and your account will be closed. Prior to your account closing, you may redeem your points for any eligible reward. For a complete listing of HHonors rewards,

To which I replied:

If you really don’t want to lose a valuable member, don’t apply this pressure. Just keep the account open and don’t hit me with arbitrary requirements.

Read the full story here.

Hilton, change your antiquated policies and procedures or people like George and I will help spread the word…

Why? The average Joe (pardon the pun) who regularly visits Dunkin’s is not going to Starbucks for coffee. I see these as completely different target markets. Am I off? Can someone explain it to me? Seems like a ton of advertising cash is going to this campaign?

Wouldn’t Dunkin be better served targeting the average Joe the plumber?

It’s been a while since I wrote on my continuing series of “When Naming Goes Bad” but here ya go, branding at its finest:

Manjunk

From the Manjunk website:

Developed by a man for men, Man Junk is a combination of world-class ingredients and relentless attention to detail. Any product that’s made to clean your neck, back, buttocks or legs isn’t going to provide the specific levels of odor fighting and skin treatment that Man Junk does.

I had no idea my personal Manjunk reeked that bad? All these years of using the same soap to wash my entire body? What was I thinking? I need this product like I need a 5th blade on my razor.

Here’s a better more appropriate name for this product:

MANJOKE

And here’s why…branding

Apple’s products don’t have brand image problems like Microsoft’s Vista. So no matter what Crispin, Porter + Bogusky does it won’t matter because it’s just advertising. And even if they win every award in the freakin world if the product sucks, or service is bad, or internal policies at Microsoft are misaligned guess what…

Now Apple’s new ads are killer:

1. The new ad where they say why don’t you call it Vista anymore? Why is it just Microsoft? Apple is killing Microsoft. They are manhandling them.

2. There’s a pile of cash and the Mac guy says…why don’t you fix Vista versus spending all your money on ads? Brilliant.

No amount of advertising is going to make people buy a crappy product…go get em Apple!

I’ve never flown on Southwest. I’ve always had some weird concern that their price was too low and I related it to poor quality (like poorly trained pilots or something horrible like that). It was a perception that was unfounded but it was my reality.

But their branding and advertising of late has been fantastic. They’re really taking advantage of the airlines that are not or will never be customer centric or “get it”. Everyone besides maybe JetBlue in the US.

I love their new TV commercial(s) where they say:

We don’t charge fees, on the first bag or second. We don’t charge fees on an isle or window seat. We don’t charge fees on curbside check in. We don’t charge fees on phone reservations. We don’t believe in charging for things that should be free. Low fares, no hidden fees.

Then of course they apparently deliver on their brand promise.

I wrote a post on how the banks could take advantage of the same type of opportunity (click here). Who’s the Southwest of the banking industry? Has any bank come out and really taken the steps to be different and stand out in the crowd? I certainly haven’t seen any type of TV? Which bank will come out and claim their rightful spot?

Like most professionals I’m supposed to get Saturday and Sunday off but I find myself working almost every weekend? Why you ask?

POWER.

1. Passion - I really love what I do. So in place of a hobby or time spent on my house I often choose to write a blog or do some work. That all typically ends when something really fun comes up like tonight’s game two Red Sox LCS.

2. Opportunity - Most people just refuse to work on the weekends. So when I’m not busy having too much fun my passion allows me to get in front of people when most are not. Less competition means more opportunity for my message to be heard.

2. Whacky - Now’s the time to experiment and have fun. It is after all the weekend. Answer the business line casually, like - You’ve reached Brand Identity Guru on the weekend you lucky duck. How can the BIG Kahuna serve you? You’ll find the caller will be instantously relaxed and amused.

3. Effective - I find even if a dedicate just one hour a day on Saturday and Sunday I become much more effective in my goals.

4. Results - Can’t tell you how many prospects I’ve converted to customers just by answering our office phone line (which gets transferred to my cell on the weekends). Most of the responses I get are “Oh wow, I thought I would just leave a message”. Nope, you got the BIG Kahuna on Sunday at 10am, how can I help you.

Practice some POWER sometimes you may be amazed.

1. They make you look small

2. They make you look desperate

3. They don’t work

4. They are a budget waster and if they are free see #5

5. They are a time waster

6. They turn customer off

7. They are nothing more than a short term band aid if they work

8. They break trust with your clients/prospects

9. They most likely will make you look goofy

10. Here’s an example of using gimmicks in marketing (by Andy Sernovitz - an expert marketer):

Do you think that was an effective word of mouth marketing tactic?